Babe, I love the idea of your story. It's kinda chick lielt and has the girl support going on. It's cute.

However, if you don't mind (I really hope this doesn't upset you) but do you think you could do better with the punctuation? Reading through, the ideas were on point but the punctuation marks and lack of aprostrophe to start each sentence kept giving me a headache so I had to pause.

I would really appreciate it if you did better with the punctuation!

I am also an upcoming writer and all.