SPINNING (BEYOND CONTROL) Poetry There is no job for me,
I want to be a writer,
I want to enjoy my profession
But loan-apps keep calling,
I run from creditors.
Life is spinning beyond my control.
Stable jobs pay peanuts,
Humans can be chronic liars,
I do not know sarcasm,
My friends think I’m boring;
My family placed me on a crumbling pedestal.
Most nights I drown myself in movies,
Deep down I hold grudges-
Against my family and society.
Some of my friends feel-
'She is living the dream’,
Sometimes I drown myself in a bottle,
Other times I keep away from God;
My sins smell before His nose.
My pains and guilt are ever alive,
I cannot seem to forgive myself
And yet, life keeps spinning.